Bronnie Ware opened up about the honest conversations she had with her patients
As life comes to an end, it’s only natural for people to take a step back and think about how they lived.
For many, that reflection brings regrets—sometimes for things they did, and sometimes for the things they never had the courage or time to do.
Realizing that you can’t go back and change certain decisions can feel especially painful in those final moments. Knowing you had the chance but missed it can weigh heavily.
But are these feelings of regret unique, or do people tend to look back on life with similar thoughts?
Bronnie Ware, a nurse who worked in palliative care for many years, has shared the five most common regrets she heard from her patients as they neared the end of their lives.
She’s been very open about her experiences, often discussing what she’s seen during the dying process—from what patients went through, to how families handled grief and loss.
Through her work, Bronnie witnessed things most of us may never experience firsthand. And by sharing what she learned, she’s giving the rest of us a valuable chance to reflect and maybe even change how we live before it’s too late.
Bronnie Ware opened up about what her patients have told her
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In a heartfelt post on her blog, she wrote: “People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal.”
“Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.”
“When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.”
‘I wish I hadn’t dedicated so much of my life to working so hard’
Bronnie explained that one of the biggest regrets people spoke about was spending too much of their life working, often at the expense of their families or personal happiness.
This particular regret came up a lot among men, especially those who had been the main providers for their households and had put their careers first for years.
Looking back, many of them wished they had taken more time off to be with their loved ones and enjoy life outside of work.
‘I wish I’d lived my life the way I wanted, not how others expected me to behave’
This one probably hits home for a lot of people.
Bronnie said many patients shared how they often held back from being true to themselves, just to keep others happy or to fit into what was expected of them.
One major source of regret was not going after their own dreams. Some admitted they had lived most of their lives for others instead of doing what they really wanted.
People regret many things before they die
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“The only way we can find peace within is to be true to our own calling, our dream and own nature,” she wrote in her 2011 book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.
‘I regret losing touch with so many of my friends’
As we get older, life can get hectic, and friendships often take a backseat. According to a 2023 survey, about eight percent of Americans reported having no close friends, highlighting what many call a “loneliness epidemic.”
Even though juggling family life and a busy job can be overwhelming, friendships still play a major role in how fulfilled we feel. Many people realized too late just how much those relationships mattered.
‘I wish I’d been brave enough to express my feelings more’
You’ve probably heard the phrase “the one that got away”. Turns out, a lot of people nearing the end of their life felt that same sense of missed opportunity when it came to expressing their feelings.
Bronnie said many of her patients kept their emotions to themselves in order to avoid conflict or upsetting others.
“As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming,” she continued.
“Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
The hospice nurse said there are five common regrets
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‘I wish I’d let myself be happier’
Life is full of ups and downs, but how often do we actually let ourselves enjoy the good times? And are we even making space for more happiness to begin with?
As their lives were coming to a close, many of Bronnie’s patients realized that being happy is a choice. Sadly, it was one they admitted they didn’t choose often enough.
Some described feeling like they were stuck in routines that didn’t bring them joy. And sometimes, sticking with what’s familiar feels easier—even if deep down, it’s not what we really want.
Bronnie summed it up by saying: “Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”
If you’re grieving the loss of someone and need someone to talk to, you can reach out to GrieveWell at (734) 975-0238 or email info@grievewell.com for support.