What it’s like to date when you’ve had more than 100 lovers: Former adult star reveals how she tells new partners about her past – and the reaction she’s tired of getting from men
[10:07 AM, 5/3/2025] Amna Saif: A woman who previously spent years working in the adult sex industry has started dating again after spending year of celibacy to ‘cleanse’ her body
Katy Bampton, 32, from South Wales, now living on the Thai Island of Koh Samui, admits she took part in multiple threesomes, and was involved in massive swingers’ parties before ‘seeing the light’.
The former adult-content creator took over a hundred lovers over the course of her career, but now says she is looking to find an ’emotional connection’ with the right person.
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Katy, who now works in a nursery, says : ‘I’m not ashamed of my past in any way, in fact I believe I’m stronger and a better person for what I went through, but now I’m ready and fully prepared to find a relationship that’s honest, and compassionate.’
In addition to working in a nursery, Katy has also set up a ‘School of Sensuality’ on the Thai island of Koh Samui in the hopes of helping women to ‘reconnect with their bodies’.
After years working in the sex industry, she came to the realisation that she ‘wasn’t being true’ to herself and decided to drop out of the world of OnlyFans.
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‘I wanted to cleanse my body from all that trauma, all that discomfort, any pain I endured,’ she says.
‘I knew my celibacy wouldn’t last forever, and after about 12 months I just felt I was in a better headspace where I knew myself better, there was an honesty and openness about how I was and what I needed.’
Katy Bampton, 32, from South Wales, now living on the Thai Island of Koh Samui, admits she took part in multiple threesomes, and was involved in massive swingers’ parties before ‘seeing the light’ (pictured)
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Katy Bampton, 32, from South Wales, now living on the Thai Island of Koh Samui, admits she took part in multiple threesomes, and was involved in massive swingers’ parties before ‘seeing the light’ (pictured)
The former adult-content creator took over a hundred lovers over the course of her career, but now says she is looking to find an ’emotional connection’ with the right person (pictured with her ex-husband)
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The former adult-content creator took over a hundred lovers over the course of her career, but now says she is looking to find an ’emotional connection’ with the right person (pictured with her ex-husband)
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Katy says she is not active on the dating scene and seeking out ‘healthy men who have also cleansed their energy, men who want to meet the mother of their kids’.
Alongside her search for an emotionally mature man, she also hopes to find someone she has sexual chemistry with, adding that it was ‘integral’ to her.
‘I guess I’ve got more experience of sex than most people, which I see as an advantage,’ she says.
‘But I now know sex should come after a meaningful connection is made, it shouldn’t be taken lightly. And it’s then that sex is actually the most incredible experience imaginable, with multiple orgasms and a connection the old Katy couldn’t have dreamed of.’
After her experience in the sex industry, she is keen to take things slow now.
‘My life was slightly out of control before, then I completely put the breaks on, so now I need to gently dip my toe back into the idea of sex – which can sometimes be a challenge when men know who I am, and my background.’
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She now tries to only meet men in gyms, coffee bars or at the beach near her seafront home, and doesn’t use any online dating app.
The nursery worker insisted that was set on meeting she her future partner ‘organically’.
Katy, who now works in a nursery, says: ‘I’m not ashamed of my past in any way, in fact I believe I’m stronger and a better person for what I went through, but now I’m ready and fully prepared to find a relationship that’s honest, and compassionate’
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Katy, who now works in a nursery, says: ‘I’m not ashamed of my past in any way, in fact I believe I’m stronger and a better person for what I went through, but now I’m ready and fully prepared to find a relationship that’s honest, and compassionate’
After ‘seeing the light’, Katy decided to spend a year being celibate so she could focus on healing her mind and body
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After ‘seeing the light’, Katy decided to spend a year being celibate so she could focus on healing her mind and body
Katy says she is not active on the dating scene and seeking out ‘healthy men who have also cleansed their energy, men who want to meet the mother of their kids’
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Katy says she is not active on the dating scene and seeking out ‘healthy men who have also cleansed their energy, men who want to meet the mother of their kids’
‘I never hide my full name, but it’s only on the second date that I fully disclose my background in the adult sex industry,’ she says.
‘I have to know we have a connection first, that they’re not trying to ‘bag’ me as some kind of trophy, like: ‘I’ve had sex with a porn star’!’
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‘I might never see them after that first date, so there’s no point shouting about my past for no reason – what you see is what you get. And I never have sex on a first date anyway.’
She insists she has ‘zero shame or embarrassment’ about her past – and likewise would never judge a man on his past.
‘I don’t care if he’s had hundreds of partners, if he’s been to jail, your past can and does make you wiser, stronger, but only if you open up to it and own it,’ she says.
Katy will typically wait until the second date for her to reveal her full name and details about her background.
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At this point, she will always stress that she ‘never been her intention’ to go into the porn industry.
Katy ended up in the adult film industry due to her husband, who was also a porn star at the time.
Katy will typically wait until the second date for her to reveal her full name and details about her background
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Katy will typically wait until the second date for her to reveal her full name and details about her background
Alongside her search for an emotionally mature man, she also hopes to find someone she has sexual chemistry with, adding that it was ‘integral’ to her
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Alongside her search for an emotionally mature man, she also hopes to find someone she has sexual chemistry with, adding that it was ‘integral’ to her
She said there have even been some frightening incidents in which men have ‘hunted her down’ at her home in the hopes of sleeping with her
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She said there have even been some frightening incidents in which men have ‘hunted her down’ at her home in the hopes of sleeping with her
By the time she and Rob moved to the island of Koh Samui in Thailand in 2023, Katy decided ‘I didn’t want that life anymore’
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By the time she and Rob moved to the island of Koh Samui in Thailand in 2023, Katy decided ‘I didn’t want that life anymore’
‘I was in love my husband, who was a porn star, and that lead me down that path – there’s a key difference there,’ she emphasises.
‘So many people can be so judgmental about the porn industry, or have strange misconceptions, and I’m happy to clear those up because I’ve been through it and come out the other side.’
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‘I’ve had one guy say he needs to watch porn four times a week to get off, which is a huge red flag, and I run a mile – I’ve had a past in porn, I wasn’t watching it get off.’
‘Some guys are confused, thinking I’m always turned on because of my past, that I’m some kind of caged sex addict. I love sex, but it has to be right, I’ll only do it with the foundation of an emotional, and I certainly won’t rush into it.’
‘If a man isn’t self-secure, he can be intimidated by my past, he can feel threatened and I won’t go further.’
Because Katy has had so many well-endowed partners in the past, it can lead to ‘performance anxiety’ for potential new partners
He can also feel intimidated, which isn’t what I want,’ she said. ‘They have to realise that’s not what I’m about, I’m not some fantasy who’s turned on by that kind of thing at all.’
She said there have even been some frightening incidents in which men have ‘hunted her down’ at her home in the hopes of sleeping with her.
Katie says she ended up in the porn industry because her husband was working in it
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Katie says she ended up in the porn industry because her husband was working in it
On sexual health, Katy says she still regularly has STD checks ¿ and always asks a man on their second date if he does, too
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On sexual health, Katy says she still regularly has STD checks ¿ and always asks a man on their second date if he does, too
She insists she has ‘zero shame or embarrassment’ about her past ¿ and likewise would never judge a man on his past
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She insists she has ‘zero shame or embarrassment’ about her past ¿ and likewise would never judge a man on his past
She said her experiences in the adult-film industry will inevitably being an ‘extra level’ to their sex life
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She said her experiences in the adult-film industry will inevitably being an ‘extra level’ to their sex life
‘My name’s the same, but I’m really not the woman they’ll have seen in those online videos,’ she says.
‘Those men almost always feel threatened by me when they meet me, they don’t know what to do or say, and while I won’t judge them for their misconceptions, it’s very unlikely we’d make a good partnership.’
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‘For a man to turn me on he has to be secure in himself, he doesn’t need a big penis or big muscles, he has to have a sense of calm and reassurance, that he’s not pretending to be anyone he’s not. That’s what’s attractive to me. And he can’t be frightened or intimidated by me.’
Although, she said her experiences in the adult-film industry will inevitably being an ‘extra level’ to their sex life.
‘I’m an international speaker on sex, how to have mind-blowing intercourse – if you’ve had my life and now teach couples how to have an amazing sex life, you have a few tricks,’ she says.
‘I can teach a man how to give an amazing massage to his partner, all sorts, but I myself only want a monogamous relationship, I’m looking for a life partner now, a husband, and that has to come first.’
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On sexual health, Katy says she still regularly has STD checks – and always asks a man on their second date if he does, too.
‘If they don’t know the last time they were tested, that’s another massive red flag, and I run away,’ she says.
‘You have to be responsible and kind, and that means not putting your partner at any risk at all. We did it when we worked in the sex industry, so why can’t they?’
And having travelled the world – Katy has lived in France, Australia, and now Thailand – Katy says she is ‘looking for an Englishman’ to be her partner.
‘I guess it’s my heritage, I’d like a British family – it’s just something I feel,’ she says.